


Cure for Lonely

by AuraWhiteFox



Category: Katekyo Hitman Reborn
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-02
Updated: 2010-10-02
Packaged: 2017-10-12 08:52:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/123105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuraWhiteFox/pseuds/AuraWhiteFox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For 2 weeks Gokudera hasn't been able to sleep and its begun to affect him, after losing his temper and getting hurt he runs off...but someone decides that there is more to this then there seems, will that person be able to cure him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cure for Lonely

Gokudera sighed as he took another drag of his smoke, he was waiting for the tenth and the rest of the gang by the school gate. It was a test day and because of his genius skills he had been able to leave earlier then everyone else. While he did take pride in his genius he didn't like having to wait for the others for hours on end.

Well expect for the tenth. In truth he didn't have to wait for the others, he could have left and gone to do something else for a few hours and then come back to pick them up but for some reason he felt like he would be abandoning the others that way so instead of leaving and going to eat or play at the arcade or even taking a walk around the park he had parked himself right outside the gate, his back to the tall gate wall that surrounded the school.

'I'm an idiot but as the tenths right-hand man it's my duty to wait for the tenth, what if I'd gone and someone decided to attack the tenth while I wasn't here? The baseball freak wouldn't have been able to protect the tenth at the same time if he had to fight as well…well I guess that Reborn would have helped out…maybe. But luckily for the   
tenth I didn't leave so if that did happen I'd be here to save him.'

Gokudera nodded to himself in satisfaction, yep he had everything covered in the case of an attack.

Besides he wouldn't have to wait much longer he though, school didn't have much longer until it got out and then he and the tenth…and everyone else would go grab something to eat hopefully. More then likely it would be at the baseball freak's sushi house.

Gokudera couldn't deny though that Yamamoto's father made really good food, and more then likely he wouldn't have to pay for any of it because it would turn out into a party of some sort. Maybe the idiot and the tenth would even score well on their math tests. He had spent more weekends then he wanted to think about tutoring those two…well more like drilling them until they saw the material in their sleep.

If those two didn't score at least an 80 or higher on those tests…well what Gokudera would do to them wouldn't be pretty, he wouldn't even show pity on the tenth…ok he would show a little more pity to the tenth then the baseball idiot but not a lot. He had truly worked hard to drill and teach them the basics and problems so if those two decided to goof off on the test it would greatly hurt and anger him.

Gokudera took another drag from his smoke before flickering it away. He was tired in the sense that he could sleep for 10 weeks non-stop. He didn't want to admit it and he didn't want to alert the tenth to his little problem but it was really starting to bother him. He'd been having a really bad case of insomnia for the past 2 weeks and it was really starting to eat at him. He didn't know what to do, he tried everything he could think of to try to cure it, drinking warm milk before going to bed, counting imaginary seep which somehow turned into the stupid cow, he'd tried sleeping pills which just made his really cranky and didn't help at all. He tried a bunch of stuff but nothing worked.

In the back part of his mind he knew what was really wrong and the real culprit of his sleeping problems.

He was lonely.

At night in his dark apartment he would lay on his bed and hold his pillow close to his chest and stare out into the dark shadows in his room.

It wasn't like he wasn't use to being alone, he had been alone for years now ever since his mother's accident, at first he had tired to go to his sister for comfort after, but after being pushed away and being feed poisoned cookies he had firmly decided that he would rather be lonely then to ever go to her for comfort again.

He had been 6 at the time he learn that no one wanted anything to do with him.

Gokudera sighed as he looked up into the clouding sky, it looked like rain would soon be falling. It might even turn into a storm.

Gokudera looked down at his hand at the silver storm ring that was on his right hand.

'Storm huh…guess it fits somewhat, I'm wild and could turn on you in a second…a truly unpredictable phenomena.'

Gokudera laughed sadly as he thought this, he knew he was weak, hell he was lonely, what kind of pansy ass excuse was that!?

He shouldn't have to feel this way, he had the tenth and he guessed the rest of the idiots around, he shouldn't feel this way at all…so why was he?

He felt something hit him lightly on the head, looking up he saw and felt that light shower of rain had begun to fall down onto him.

'Great just what I need, could my day get any worse.'

Unfortunately it seemed so…

"Hey what do you make of that? A little half-breed mutt is sitting in the rain like a little pup, do you think he's waiting for his master to get out of school? I bet he wishes he had enough brain to go to a human school. Hmm I think I've seen this mutt around before…what do you think?"

Gokudera looked up and glared with fury at the punks that stood in front of him, judging by their school uniforms he could tell they went to more expensive school, probably somewhere across town or something, more then likely because of their daddies' money.

"What the fuck were you calling me you wanna be punks?!"

"Oh lookie the puppy had teeth. But you're right…oh yea I remember now he hangs out with that no good Tsuna, hah even that little brat's uselessness has become infamous, I heard that brat got himself some friends now…more then likely they're a bunch of people who couldn't help but pity the little freak."

Gokudera growled as he slowly sat up. These idiots had pressed an invisible button in Gokudera, the words they were spewing were too much like the insults he had heard as a child. He didn't like hearing that crap then and he most certainly didn't like hearing it now, and then they had the balls to insult the tenth…that was going to far.

"You bastards…I'm going to make you eat those words."

Gokudera knew better now then to take out his dynamite and throw it, he had gotten a bit better at controlling his temper and would now mostly only use his fists to settle things.

"It looks like the little mutt wants to play, hah didn't the mutt's momma tell him not to talk to his betters that way? She must have been a mighty impure breed."

"Ha man that's right, oh do you know what else I heard? I heard that even the baseball star at this school plays with these freaks!"

"No way! Wow will the tainted ever learn to stay clear of people higher then them? I bet he just doing it for charity or something…unless he's also a mutt playing pure breed?"

"More then likely…I bet they're all just fags too, that no good Tsuna seems like the type…hey maybe we should see for ourselves, I bet that little pretty bitch would look good on his knees, maybe we could even get that stuck up baseball kid to play too."

They all burst into perverted laughter.

Oh that was IT! Fuck using fists he was going to blow those mother fuckers up all the way to mars!

Without warning Gokudera spring up and attacked without mercy.

 

\---

 

"Gokudera what do you have to say for yourself!!?"

Gokudera lowered his head even lower as he listen to the tenth scold him. His mouth twisted up into a scowl as he barely listened to what was being lectured to him. Now most of the time he would be hanging off the tenth's every word but right now he was still pissed.

After using his dynamite on those fuckers and blowing up the buildings around him and beating those morons into comatose states he had been stopped by a flying kick from Reborn. He hadn't even realized what he had been really doing. Even with his victims on the ground comatose he hadn't stopped. He had lit almost ever piece of dynamite he had on him and thrown them dangerously around him, not really caring who they hit. Luckily for him no one had been really hurt…except himself.

He had gotten a few blows from his own weapons, something that hasn't happen to him since he was a kid and had just been learning how to use them in the first place.

Frankly it was just embarrassing. He was glad that Dr. Shamal was away in Italy right now, if he would have seen this…well it wouldn't have been pretty that was for sure.

Luckily for him his jacket hid his wounds so the tenth didn't see that he was injured. He didn't feel like having the tenth mother him right now, most of the time he would have loved it but…not now.

He was still scowling at the ground as he ignored the lecture being handed to him by his boss.

It wasn't like those bastards hadn't deserved what had happened to them, it would have been fine if they would have just insulted him but to insult his mother and the tenth and even the baseball nut…that was drawing the line, no one should ever insult his friends or family in front of him…hell they shouldn't insult them at anytime, regardless if he was there or not!

After his dynamite had started to blow the buildings around the school, the commotion made the school itself go into a panic. The tenth and the baseball freak of course being them went straight towards the commotion and fireworks. But even the tenth's presence hadn't been enough to get Gokudera out of his destruction mood, only Reborn's attack had shaken him enough to wake up from his bloodlust.

"Gokudera!!!"

Gokudera jumped a bit as he heard his name yelled out by the tenth in front of him. He had forgotten that he had been asked a question. The scowl on his face deepened as he looked up into the tenth's frustrated face. The baseball freak and Reborn were standing a bit behind the tenth with the rest of the gang which thankfully only included the boxing freak and the girls. If that freak Hibari or that stupid cow were here he didn't think he could stand the shame.

Gokudera felt his face burn a bit in embarrassment and humiliation, which only fueled his anger at the situation.

He was tired and cranky from lack of sleep, so he knew that his judgment was impaired but he didn't need it to be rubbed in. He knew he was in the wrong this time, he could have beaten up those losers without the damage that was done to the area around him. But his temper had been on the breaking point and he had just blown up.

Gokudera huffed as he shifted from one foot to another, his wound that he had accidently self inflicted on his stomach was starting to bleed pretty badly so he knew he needed to get home quickly and take care of it.

What could he say? That he was sorry…well truthfully he wasn't really that sorry, he was sorry that he had created such a commotion, he was sorry that he had lost his temper, he was sorry that he hadn't gotten any sleep for a while, he was sorry that he was a sorry excuse for a right-hand man and all that he seemed to be doing lately was bothering the tenth.

But was he sorry about attacking those punks? The answer was…no.

So what could he say? He didn't want to lie to the tenth but he didn't want to piss him off further…

"I'm sorry for bothering you tenth and making you have to retake your test."

There that should be good enough, he was truthful with that at least, he was sorry for bothering him and making the tenth retake the test he had tried so hard to study for.

Unfortunately it didn't seem to be enough for one Sawada Tsunayoshi.

"That's not what I'm asking for! You just almost killed those guys! Don't you feel bad?! I want you to go to the hospital right now and apologize to them!!"

"What!!"

Gokudera stared wide-eyed at his friend. He wanted him to apologize to those lowlifes?

Gokudera felt his anger return, the tenth hadn't even asked him why he attacked those bastards, he just seemed to assume that Gokudera attacked them because he wanted to. Well he did want to but they had started it by insulting him, his mother and his friends, also he was pretty sure that those punks would have started to try to beat him up beforehand. They seemed the type to beat on defenseless types for the fun of it. Unfortunately for them this time they did not pick on a defenseless victim this time they had picked on Gokudera Hayato, the hurricane bomber.

He may worship the tenth almost to the point of being a fanatic but sometimes like now he felt that the tenth was in the wrong. He knew that Tsuna wasn't all mightily and was in fact just a child. Still he trusted Tsuna with his life and had devoted his entire existence to him.

But this…maybe it was the lack of sleep but at this moment he wanted nothing more then to smack Tsuna upside the head.

Somewhat horrified at his own thoughts Gokudera decided it would be in everyone's best interest if he left right now before he did something he would regret for the rest of his life.

Still the anger that he was feeling was bursting to be vented and unfortunately it seemed that that anger wouldn't be denied to run its course at the moment. So instead of trying to bottle it up he vented.

Loudly.

"Why the fuck should I apologize to those punks?! They are the one's that…for fucks sake tenth! You didn't even ask me why I went all ballistic! Am I really that bad normally?! If so then…maybe I shouldn't be around you anymore…If I'm that dangerous that you think that I'd do something crazy like this without having a reason then I don't..."

Gokudera took a deep breath to try to calm himself down, he knew it wasn't the tenths fault at all and that he shouldn't yell at him but…it hurt to think that the tenth thought so little of him. He knew he was ill tempered most of the time but he honestly thought he was an alright guy.

After calming a bit down by breathing deeply Gokudera decided he needed to leave right now…but he couldn't leave without apologizing to Tsuna first.

"I'm sorry you think I should have to apologize for something that they had started tenth…you may punish me anyway you see fit but…I will not apologize to those bastards for what they said. I-I've got to get home now. I'll see you tomorrow tenth. You can punish me then for my disobedience. I'm sorry…so sorry."

Softly mumbling at the end Gokudera did something he hadn't had to do in a while…he ran away.

"Wait Gokudera!"

As much as Gokudera's first instinct was to obey the tenth this time he ignored it as he sprinted down the street holding his side to try to stop the blood from showing.

So ignoring his friends calls and pleads for him to stop he kept going all the way until he reached his apartment complex.

Standing outside the gate to his complex he only just then realized that the light rain that had started before had turned into a huge downpour, soaking him all the way through, causing his skin to feel cold and clammy.

'Damn I just bet I'm going to catch a cold or the flu. That would just be freaking icing on the cake on how my days going.'

As if in answer to his thoughts he had the uncontrollable urge to sneeze…which he did, three times in a row.

"Damn it Damn it Damn it!!"

Gokudera started to run towards the stairs, he needed to get inside his apartment fast and take care of his wound and wet clothes.

"Ah…achoo!"

Gokudera started to snuff a bit as he reached his apartment. He took out his key from his pocket and unlocked his door.

"Ok I need gauze and bandages and first-aid cream, hopefully I won't need to stitch it up, it seemed like a fairly shallow wound."

Gokudera started to strip his clothes off as soon as he stepped inside his place. Closing the door behind him without bothering to lock it he tugged his shirt off to inspect the wound. As he had thought it was fairly shallow, it was pretty long though, it started from close to his right hip bone and crossed his stomach and chest all the way up to just below his left nipple. It seemed a peace of shrapnel had flown right up and just barely grazed him…either that or one of the punks had a knife on him and tried to shank him. Either way it didn't matter to Gokudera, all that mattered was taking care of it and getting into something warm…and then maybe drowning a whole bottle of sleeping pills.

It was only just dawning on him what he had done earlier. He was mortified at his lack of control. Now usually this kind of accident wouldn't have fazed him but after the Ring Battle he had sworn to himself that he would mature. That he would become a better right-hand man, someone worthy of the title and worthy enough to stand beside the Tenth   
Generation of Vongola Boss.

But the way he had acted today…it was despicable, he had acted like a child. He knew he couldn't blame everything on the sleep deprivation, he was just naturally a spoiled brat.

"Ah damn it!! What the fuck is wrong with me!?"

Gokudera stomped to his medical cabinet and took out the bandages and started to clean up his wound. First thing first of course.

After making sure that his wound was all wrapped up and secure Gokudera stripped off the rest of his clothes leaving himself in nothing and hopped into the shower. He needed warm water quickly, he already could feel himself chilling over and his throat was already feeling scratchy, he made sure though that his wound didn't get wet, it was hard but he managed it well enough.

After standing in boiling hot water for who knows how long he finely decided to wash himself before the water got ice cold, it was already luke warm by now and he needed to get out before he turned into a prune, after shampooing his hair and quickly rubbing off the dirt that he had gathered he hopped out and towel dried himself off.

Walking nude out of his bathroom he walked into his small kitchen and opened the fridge, he was staving by now. He remembered he had planned to eat with his friends but…Gokudera shook his head, he didn't want to think about why his plans had to change.

Plucking out an old tube of take-out food he sniffed it carefully before deciding that it was still ok. He never knew just when his devil sister would come over and leave him her poisoned cooking. Usually it would be disguised in the covering of take-out so he wouldn't know until he tasted it…or it could be that he just leaves food in his fridge long enough for it to grow into a creature of thought. Either way he had learned to look before consuming.

After inhaling the food in the white container he threw it in the trash. He grabbed a glass of water and took a few pain pills he had brought out from the bathroom cabinet and chugged them down. Hoping that they would work soon because his wound was really starting to hurt he walked back out of the little kitchen area and into his living room which doubled as a bedroom.

Because his father decided not to send his runaway son any money Gokudera had had to learn to fend for himself. Before coming to Japan at Reborn's request he had toured around Europe, stealing and scamming as he went.

Mostly from other crime families, small time fish that didn't even hold a match to his family or the Vongola. He had managed to gather a sizable enough amount to last him a while. Still when he had moved here he had made sure to budget his money. He didn't feel like getting a legitimate job and going to school at the same time, also he had to make sure that he was always free for when the tenth needed him so he just made sure to used his money sparely.

Which was why he only lived in a one room apartment, the kitchen was basically the same room too only it was separated by a high counter, the bathroom thankfully though was its own room. It was a lot smaller then he was accustomed too back in Italy but…it was home and it wasn't like he needed a large space.

He pulled out his futon out from under his little table and set it out. It was still day light outside but he was completely tired…maybe if he tired to sleep during the daytime his insomnia wouldn't kick in. He could kill for a full 8 hours of sleep uninterrupted.

After laying out everything Gokudera laid down, he didn't bother putting on his pajamas. It wasn't like he was expecting company…not after the way he had behaved today.

Without realizing it he began to cry, softy enough that even he didn't realize he was crying until he felt his pillow become wet with tears.

The ever present feeling of loneliness overtook him and he didn't even try to stop the tears. When he had first started to cry at night when he was alone in bed he had tried to stop the tears from crying. Thinking that it was unmanly and girly to cry to oneself over nothing, but after he repeatedly lost his temper the next day over the smallest things he had given up. He knew he needed to get these feelings vented as much as possible so that he could act as normal as he could when he was with the others. So for the past few weeks he cried every single night, sometimes only for a few minutes and only a tear drop or two, sometimes he cried for hours on end, his body shaking with the sobs that ranked his body.

The curtains that covered the only window of his apartment were drawn shut so it was dim inside his apartment, he could even pretend that it was nighttime instead of it being the middle of the evening so that he didn't feel ashamed to be crying like this during the daytime.

He almost didn't hear it over his crying but…there was not mistaking it. An annoying noise was coming from the direction of his door, it only took him a few seconds to realize that someone was knocking on his door for him, and more then likely whoever it was could also hear him crying as well.

Gokudera wiped his eyes and slowly got up, he didn't know who could be at the door, he was more then sure it wasn't the tenth or anyone like that, it could have been the landlord after last months rent. He had been hounding Gokudera for weeks now but he had been able to avoid him by leaving early and coming home really late. There was also a slime chance that it was his sister too, he hoped not though. He didn't feel like being sick right now on top of being depressed.

Before walking to the door he picked up a pair of boxers on the ground and put them on. He was fairly sure that they were clean after a casual sniff so he didn't fuss over it. It wasn't like whoever was at the door was important or anything…more then likely he had already lost the most important person to him by his out burst earlier.

Wiping his eyes in the hope that the redness would disappear he walked to the door and opened it.

"Who's there…?"

Gokudera's eyes widen as he took in the drenched person standing there dripping water all over. The person's hand had been paused in the process of knocking and was just held there mid-air. His school uniform was plastered to his skin by the water and his dark hair was dripping water down his face in a constant stream.

"…Yamamoto?"

Yamamoto moved his raised hand and swept it over his head in an almost embarrassed fashion. The idiotic smile was plastered on his face as he grinned sheepishly.

"Ah Gokudera hi um…can I come in?"

Yamamoto's voice snapped the daze that had overtaken Gokudera when he first opened the door and seen the last person he would have ever suspected to be knocking.

"What? Ah…I guess…wait no why the hell should I? Why the hell are you even here?!"

At first Gokudera was almost still dazed enough to invite the idiot into his home but then common sense awoken in him. Why the hell was he even here anyway?!

"Oh well I wanted to talk to you…wait what's that on your chest?"

Blinking his eyes in confusion Gokudera looked down and cursed, he had totally forgotten about his wound. Cursing himself in his head he decided he needed to give the baseball nut a plausible excuse so he wouldn't go running and tattling on the tenth.

But before he could open his mouth Yamamoto beat him to it.

"It's from today isn't it? You got hurt and that's why you left like that…you didn't want to worry the tenth and you needed to fix it up before he saw."

Gokudera gapped as he stared at the nonchalant boy in front of him. How…? Actually he shouldn't really be that surprised, even though the guy was a sports freak and most of the time he was a clueless idiot he could be surprisingly insightful when it came to these kind of things…which really didn't happen often.

Finally Gokudera just huffed and gruffly answered.

"You better not tell the tenth…"

"Don't worry I won't…but in exchange for not spilling will you let me in? I brought some dinner with me."

Gokudera blinked in confusion before he finally noticed the white plastic bag that the boy had been holding in his other hand.

"…Wha…?"

Then suddenly Yamamoto did something that almost broke his brain…he pouted. It was the works too, he puffed out his bottom lip and let it quiver ever so slightly, his eyes got big and teary and he had the most pathetic expression on his face that Gokudera had ever seen.

"Please?"

"Fine! Fine just stop looking so disgusting!"

And like a switch the stupid expression that Yamamoto had been wearing disappeared to be replaced with his usual clueless sincere face.

Gokudera sighed and held the door open as he let the baseball moron in.

"Oi leave your shoes here and wait a moment I'll bring you a towel and some dry clothes."

"Ah thank you that would be most appreciated I don't think you want me dripping all over your stuff."

Gokudera was surprised to realize that that had been the last thing on his mind when he offered the idiot some dry clothes. He hadn't thought that his stuff would be in danger of getting water damaged…he had been thinking about the idiots health and that it couldn't have been comfortable being in wet clothes like that.

Gokudera was very disturbed by his thought process so just humph and walked away quickly.

It was only then that he realized that he was still only in his boxers. Feeling himself turn red without really knowing why he quickly walked over to his small dresser and picked out two pairs of shirts and a pair of running pants, opening another dresser draw he took out a clean dry towel. Walking back quickly he threw the towel on top of the idiot's head getting a laugh out of the moron.

"Hah thanks."

"Whatever."

He placed one of the shirts and the pants on the floor next to him and turned his back while putting on the extra shirt on himself, he felt his wound pull a bit but managed to hid the wince at the pain, after all he didn't want the sport's freak to think he needed help or anything like that or that he couldn't handle a bit of pain.

Gokudera could hear behind him the rustle of cloth as Yamamoto removed his own clothing and put on the much warmer and dryer clothes that were presented to him.

For some reason Gokudera could feel himself redden again, and in frustration and confusion he started to walk to the kitchen area.

"When you're done bring the food to the kitchen, I'll make us something hot to drink."

Gokudera didn't hear the rustling stop behind him as he spoke, he didn't even really realize that his voice had taken an almost unnaturally quite tone, at least for him it was unnatural.

Yawning a bit Gokudera walked to his kitchen cabinet and started to hunt a bit for something he could make, he was startle to see that didn't really have anything. Except for a bunch of expired tea bags that he never used and a tin with about a quarter full of instant coffee. Not the best to offer a guest even if it was the baseball freak.

"Hey Gokudera, you in there? Don't worry about making something to drink, I brought something that we could use to   
make a drink…you have a kettle right?"

Gokudera turned around and looked at the now marginally dryer baseball player. He nodded his head to the question and bent down to open the lower cabinet. This time he couldn't stop the hiss from escaping his lips as his wound pulled again.

"Hey wait let me get that…why don't you get the plates and chopsticks? My father made some really good platters today but he made a whole lot of extra so we have a lot of food to eat, hope your hungry."

Gokudera just shot him a dirty look but surprisingly did as he was told, his wound was really starting to throb so he decided not to pick up a fuss.

"So what did you bring to drink?"

"You'll see, I'll make the drink and you can set out the food, it should still be really hot so make sure to be careful."

"I don't know how, it's really pouring out."

"Well…how did you figure I got so wet? It wasn't raining this hard when I got home so I didn't think to bring an umbrella."

"Tch moron."

"Yea I guess I am aren't I? Hah"

"That's something you shouldn't sound so proud of you know? Geez sometimes I don't know why the tenth choose you to be his rain-"

Gokudera cut himself off as he mention the tenth, he had almost forgotten…but just mentioning him had brought the whole days event's to the front of his mind. He sobered quickly and turned around to pick up the food and plates to take out to the little dinning table.

Yamamoto seemed to know that he didn't want to talk anymore because he didn't offer any more conversation starters, he just turned to Gokudera's little stove and started doing whatever it seemed that needed to be done for them to have something to drink. He held a small paper bag that he had taken out of the white plastic bag that held the food   
earlier.

Gokudera quickly left the room and placed everything on the table, he kicked his futon into a corner so that it wouldn't be in the way.

Looking in the bag he started to feel suspicious. It was a variety of different kinds of food but…everything was something that Gokudera enjoyed. Some of his favorite foods were mixed in with some of his lesser liked but still favored foods.

The suspicion grew as he thought about it. Why was Yamamoto here anyway? And why did he bring Gokudera's favorite kinds of food too? It was pouring out and it was getting later in the day, looking at the clock now it was almost nightfall yet here he was instead of at home where he was suppose to be.

It didn't make sense, Gokudera would have thought that the way he acted today would make his friends want to stay clear of him not come over and act like nothing happened.

But trying to think about just gave Gokudera a headache, it was only then did he realize that he could feel a beginning of a cold creep up on him. His throat was starting to sting and scratch. His nose was starting to tingle and fill with snot and his eyes were starting to tear up which because of his last cry fest made them sting like hell.

"Aww shit."

"What's wrong?"

Gokudera jumped a bit as he whirled around to see Yamamoto standing behind him with two steaming mugs.

"Shit don't do that!"

"Hah sorry sorry."

"Tch idiot…ah fuck-achoo!"

Gokudera couldn't stop the sneeze that tore through him.

"Ah do you need a tissue? Just let me set these down and I'll go get you one."

Gokudera just sent him a highly annoyed look.

"I can go get myself a tissue thank you very much and I'm fine. What the hell is in those cups anyway?"

Yamamoto looked down at the two mugs that he was still carrying.

"Oh well let's sit down and I'll give you yours you can figure it out after you try it."

Grumbling Gokudera did as he was told, maybe it was the oncoming cold or maybe it was because he felt like he could drop dead from lack of sleep but he couldn't help but do as he was told. He choose to ignore his unusually compliance and took the offered drink.

Looking down into a dark amber coloring he had to wonder what was in it, but he wasn't a coward so instead of trying to guess he just took a swallow.

And promptly chocked.

"What the fuck?!"

"It's warm apple cider with a hint of my father's aged scotch for flavor."

"Alcohol?! You could have freaking warn me!"

"Now where's the fun in that?"

"Asshole!"

"hahaha"

Despite his first response to the strong drink Gokudera found himself still sipping at it, he just made sure that he was taking smaller sips then before. It seemed like the warm drink helped with the impending cold, his nose started to clear and his throat was smoothed over by the warm drink.

Deciding that the moron didn't deserve anymore of his attention he ducked his head and started to eat, despite having eaten that old take-out only a bit ago he was surprised to find himself famished.

It seemed that Yamamoto realized that he wasn't going to continue with any kind of conversation because he also started to dig in to the food silently.

But every once in a while Gokudera could feel eyes on his bent head staring at him then leaving for a few minutes before returning. It was really starting to bother him but he didn't say anything. It was obvious that Yamamoto had something on his mind that he wanted to say but was waiting till the right time.

Gokudera did his best to ignore him as he stuffed himself, he also didn't outwardly acknowledge that he was eating all his favorite Japanese dishes, it wasn't like he wanted to seem happy or something with the idiot, who knew what kind of ideas that would brew in the empty skull of his.

When he was finally stuffed Gokudera put down his chopsticks. Looking up he wasn't really surprised to see that   
Yamamoto was also done and just sitting there staring at him. But what did surprise his was the absolute vacant expression he had on his face.

"..what? Do I have food on my face or something?"

Yamamoto just shook his head.

"Ah no that's not it, it's just that…well let me clean up first then I'll explain. Just drink your cider."

Gokudera was about to protest but Yamamoto just got up and picked up the dishes and walked the few feet to the kitchen area without once looking at him.

Taking notice at the strange atmosphere that had overtaken his room Gokudera decided that staying quite was his safest bet. He didn't have a clue on what to say or do right now, he could feel that yelling or trying to pick a fight right   
now wouldn't be smart so he just sat there in silence and spilled his spiced drink.

'Why is he here? He never once tried to answer my questions. Well that's it then, when he get's his little baseball playing butt back in here I won't let him go until he answered all my questions.'

Nodding to himself at his conviction he sat there in satisfaction, at least he was full and warm now, unlike before.   
So maybe that empty headed moron wasn't always bad, just most of the time.

Because Gokudera was staring off in a daze he was slightly startled to hear a thud in front of him.

"Wha…?"

Yamamoto was sitting across from him once again only this time he had brought out the bottle of alcohol with him.

"I thought since we're already drunken half of it why not finish it off?"

"O-okay then."

Yamamoto was acting strangely, Gokudera couldn't pin it down but somehow he seemed so…serious all of a sudden.

'Or maybe it hadn't been so sudden, he's been like this since I've invited him inside he just hid it better. Shit what have I gotten myself into? I swear if he's here to lecture me…rain guardian or not I will kick his ass.'

Yamamoto took both of their now empty cups and filled them halfway with the alcohol and gave one back to him. Gokudera accepted it and took a drink before setting it down. He could feel the being of a pleasant buzz but knew it would take   
a lot more then this to get him drunk, since he lived in Italy he had a high alcohol tolerance then most people.

"So…you mind telling why the hell you're here now? Did…did the tenth send you?"

Gokudera whispered the last part but he knew that Yamamoto could hear him regardless.

"No Tsuna didn't send me and neither did Reborn. After you left you can guess that Tsuna was very confused and upset, he didn't understand what you meant by having a reason or an explanation, but he did feel guilty for yelling at you.

He wanted to chase after you but Reborn held him back and made him go home, you can expect that he will be seeking you out tomorrow to hear your side of it though. Tsuna is…well he's a good kid but kind of an air head sometimes."

"Don't talk about the tenth like that!"

Gokudera snapped, but it was only half-heartedly. He was feeling more and more tired, especially after hearing that the tenth felt guilty, it only increased his own feelings of guilt. He wanted to get up and race to the tenths house and apologize on hands and knees but he was just so tired he knew that he would be in danger of passing out if he ran outside right now. Besides it was still raining outside, harder then ever before now.

Gokudera turned his attention back to Yamamoto who begun speaking again after his out burst.

"I know I know you'll kick my ass, but…I know that you might be ill tempered most of the time but you haven't done something like that in a long time and I know you wouldn't have done that if they haven't provoked you enough for you to lose your cool like that. I also knew that you'd been waiting outside for us for hours so I figured that you'd be really hungry, so after you ran off and Reborn dragged Tsuna home I ran home and made some food and came here."

"I thought you said that the food was leftovers? Liar."

It seemed that Yamamoto had realized he had given himself away because he only blushed a bit and continued.

"Maybe I am but only about that. I…I know that you haven't been sleeping lately."

Gokudera just sent him a disbelieving look.

"And what the hell gave you that impression?"

"You don't realize it but you've been really sluggish lately and you've got dark rings under your eyes, you haven't   
been eating correctly and you're paler and skinner then you were before."

"What the hell have you been doing stalking me and spying?!"

"Yes."

Gokudera could feel his temper rise at the calm answer. How the hell could that bastard be that calm when he just admitted to watching him?!

"You're a freak you know that!"

"No I'm not I'm your friend and a concern one too."

That shut Gokudera right up, it was the first time that Yamamoto had ever really acknowledge that they were friends.

"I-I don't…"

"Gokudera please tell me why you haven't been sleeping."

Gokudera narrowed his eyes at the question. Why the hell should he answer that?! Yamamoto had no right to barge into his personal problems.

'And it's not like he'd be able to help either…the bastard would probably just try to get me a girlfriend or something. Che I don't need that crap on top of everything else. Girls just remind me of my sister…urgh.'

"No."

Yamamoto just sighed and took a drink from his own glass, it looked like he was contemplating something important and   
Gokudera was pretty sure he didn't want to know what that was.

"So if you don't have anything else to ask…"

"No I won't leave until you answer my question one way or another tonight, but for now I'll let it lie and ask you   
something else, that wound on your stomach did you get it this afternoon?"

"Um…yea…"

Gokudera scolded and looked down and cursed as he saw spots of red showing through his shirt, it looked like when he stretched earlier he'd ripped his wound open a bit.

Gokudera looked back up and was confused…where did Yamamoto go?

"Ah good you left out your bandages out, take off your shirt please."

Gokudera startled as Yamamoto suddenly appeared right beside him with a handful of bandages.

"Wha…no I can do that myself thank you very much!"

"Don't fight me on this just take off your shirt."

Gokudera closed his mouth and quieted his comeback, Yamamoto had a very serious expression on his face and it said that if Gokudera didn't comply with his demand things were about to become messy.

So mumbling some dirty choice words he took off his shirt, winching a bit as the wound pulled some more. After he had gotten the shirt off he started to unwind the bandages he had put on there earlier without needing to be told to.

When it was all off he looked back up with a frown, Yamamoto was just staring at the long wound on his chest, he didn't think it was that bad but judging by the expression that Yamamoto wore he didn't agree.

"Did you stitch it up?"

"No it's fairly shallow I didn't see any reason too."

Nodding his head Yamamoto quickly but carefully wrapped a fresh bandage around Gokudera's torso.  
For some reason Gokudera felt his face heat up and his heart speed up a bit as Yamamoto leaned in close. He didn't know why and it was really starting to bug him.

He'd been having these feelings for the idiot since he saw him fight in his Ring Battle against Squalo. As such whenever he got to close to the moron he broke out in a sweat.

"There all done now, you might want to leave off the shirt since it's stained and it might irritate the wound."  
Gokudera looked up from his wound and looked at Yamamoto who hadn't moved at all, in fact…was it just his imagination or was he moving even closer?

"…wha…"

Suddenly Yamamoto's face was loomed in closely to him, his normally twinkling eyes were now like steel in their seriousness.

"Gokudera…"

"…y-yes?"

"…before you let me in I thought I heard something but I dismissed it…but now…you were crying before you let me in   
weren't you? I can tell now that I've got a clear view of your eyes. They are all red and slightly puffy."

Gokudera leaned back in shock and sudden anger.

"No I was not crying you bastard! What kind of girl do you take me for?!"

"I never once called you a girl Gokudera."

"Well good then!!"

Gokudera was getting tired of this, he wanted to sleep so badly right now, but he knew even if he got rid of Yamamoto he'd just be laying there in the dark.

"Gokudera…"

Yamamoto sighed and leaned back also.

"Is the…is the reason you haven't been sleeping the same reason for why you were crying?"

"No! Now leave damn it before I get really pissed!"

"I told you before that I'm not going to leave until you answer me."

"I don't give a damn about your reasons just leave me alone already!!"

Gokudera stood up and loomed over the seemingly uncaring boy. A snarl sounded from Gokudera's lips. Yamamoto was really starting to infuriate him off right now.

"Why do you wish so much for me to leave? Is there a certain reason?"

"No I just don't want to tolerate your freaking existence right now."

"You're lying."

Gokudera flinched.

"No I'm not, why the fuck do you want to know so badly anyway? My sleeping patterns shouldn't matter to you one way or another."

Yamamoto just sighed and smiled warily.

"That's were you're wrong, sometimes I have to wonder how you could be so dense and yet so smart at the same time."

"What?! What the fuck am I missing here?! Please feel free to enlighten me."

Yamamoto just stared him and then seemed to come to some sort of decision.

"Ok then I'll show you."

"What do you mean show me, why don't you just tell me-…!?"

Gokudera was cut off mid rant as he felt a pair of dry rough lips touch his own.

'The fuck??!'

Gokudera was shaken out of his paralyzes when he felt a pair of hands touch his shoulders.

He yanked himself away from Yamamoto and backed up a few steps.

"What the fuck was that Yamamoto!?!"

"It was a kiss."

"I know that you moron! I'm asking for the reason you kiss me for!"

"You asked for it didn't you? You wanted to know why I cared so much about your mental and physical health, well   
here's my answer."

Gokudera really didn't know how to respond to that. The way Yamamoto spoke right then with such complete certainty of his feelings…it was slightly overpowering.

"So…what? You like me or something?"

Yamamoto just smiled and closed his eyes in his usual dumb expression.

"Oh you don't, no turning stupid on me right now. I want an answer!"

Yamamoto just cracked open an eye, it was only then that Gokudera noticed the sly look in them.

"Oh? I thought I just gave you my answer? But if you need it again then that's ok too."

"Wait that's not what I meant-ooof-mmph!"

Yamamoto darted like a snake and struck like one too. Gokudera felt arms wind around his shoulders, thankfully being   
mindful of his wound.

Once again Gokudera felt a pair of lips on his, maybe it was because of his exhaustion but he didn't feel like putting up much of a fight. When it became apparent that the baseball player wasn't going to let him go any time soon he relaxed ever so slightly.

'It's just the baseball idiot…besides I'll just kick his ass later and hide the body. It doesn't feel too bad though…  
it's almost pleasant I guess…hmm…'

Finally they broke for air, moving his head a bit Gokudera turned his head away sideways so he wouldn't have to look at Yamamoto…also so the idiot wouldn't see the huge blush that overtook his face.

"Do you know Gokudera you kiss like you've never kissed anyone before?"

"Idiot of course I haven't kissed anyone else before. Have you seen me with a girlfriend?"

"Ah no but I figured that you might have had one when you lived in Italy."

"No I never had time for such things, and back then the only girls that were interested in me were money grabbing   
leeches."

"I guess that makes sense but um Gokudera? Not to ruin the mood or anything and its not that I'm not happy about it but…why aren't you trying to kick my ass right now?"

Now it was Gokudera's turn to sigh, he leaned his head on Yamamoto's shoulder. He could feel the shock and confusion radiating from him but he could also detect a hint of happiness too.

"…I'm too tired. I decided to kick you ass tomorrow."

"Haha okay then I'll just have to make sure to stay hidden."

"Idiot."

"Maybe."

Warm arms tighten their embrace and Gokudera couldn't help but snuggle just a bit into them. He might just regret this later but right now his defenses were at an all time low, it probably didn't help that his system was full of good   
food and alcohol.

'Idiot probably planned that too, the nerve trying to get me drunk.'

But Gokudera couldn't help but notice that his thoughts had taken a rather fond tone when thinking about the baseball nut.

'I'm so stupid…why am I letting him do this? It's not normal right?'

"Hey Yamamoto? You wanted to know why I did what I did today right? Well those guys knew Tsuna I guess and they started to make some really nasty comments about him and…also about you too. Also they started to insult my looks calling me a half-breed and stuff like that…I guess I just lost my temper when they started to insult the tenth like that. I won't apologize to them but…"

"Shh I understand. As Tsuna's right-hand man you couldn't just sit there while someone insulted them I get that. Yes you could have held your temper a bit and just scared them off but I do understand why you did what you did."

"Thanks I guess…I'll just make up some excuse to the tenth tomorrow so he won't have to hear about people bad mouthing him."

"Yea I'll help you on that too."

Gokudera yawned a bit as he closed his eyes, he just felt so comfortable there standing in Yamamoto's embrace. Not that he'd tell him that, that guy had enough of an ego as it was thank you very much.

"Hey Gokudera, no falling asleep on me, let's get you to bed now."

Yamamoto pulled away a bit causing Gokudera to grumble. Chuckling Yamamoto guided him to his rumbled futon and bent down to straighten it out. At this point Gokudera was more then half asleep on his feet. Being warm and full was a very nice feeling, if he would have known that that was all it took to make him sleep he would have done this weeks ago…although he had a sneaking suspicion that it wasn't just the food and spirits…the idiot might just also be a factor too. Not that he really wanted to analyze the reason for that at the moment.

"Okay then let's get you in bed now."

Yamamoto carefully guided him down onto the futon and as soon as Gokudera was laying down on it he pulled the covers over him. Gokudera peered through sleep heavy eyes as Yamamoto took their cups to the kitchen and cleaned up a bit,   
straightening the table until it was cleared up.

"Well I guess I'll see you in the morning, it's kind of late right now so I better run home."

While Yamamoto was talking Gokudera was doing some serious thinking. He knew what he wanted to do he just wasn't sure if it was the smart move but maybe it would be ok. After all didn't Yamamoto just confess to liking him?

So just as Yamamoto turned around to leave Gokudera spoke up before he could lose his nerve.

"Hey Yamamoto just use your damn cell phone and call your dad saying that you're sleeping over here for the night, it should be ok since it's so late already, and you can wear my spare uniform tomorrow."

Yamamoto turned around with a surprised expression on his face.

"Um are you sure? It's not raining that hard out-"

"Listen idiot I wouldn't offer if I wasn't sure…besides wasn't it you who told me you wouldn't leave until I told you   
why I haven't been sleeping?"

Yamamoto just smiled in respond.

"I did didn't I. Well then I guess you're stuck with me until you confess, a promise is a promise."

Gokudera just scowled in response but on the inside he was also smiling. Yamamoto didn't know it but he already helped him with his sleeping problem. The problem itself had been his feeling of loneliness and without realizing it Yamamoto   
made that feeling go away with his presence here.

But Gokudera wouldn't tell him that. Yamamoto promised him that he wouldn't leave until he had an answer but by just being here he was helping to cure it. So there was really no reason to tell him if he was just going to solve it without knowing, and this way Gokudera didn't have feel weak in front of him either.

Maybe one day he'd confess to Yamamoto, the reason why he hadn't been sleeping well, but today wasn't that day and Gokudera had a feeling that it wouldn't be any time soon either. Maybe once he got more comfortable with the idea of   
Yamamoto being around all the time.

And on that day too…he'd also confess to Yamamoto about how he felt about him…maybe even the same way Yamamoto confessed to him tonight.

Starting with a kiss…

 

\---

 

The End


End file.
